For some rainstorms, umbrellas just don’t matter.
I am shivering in my air conditioned office now, while my pants hang immodestly over my office door and my socks hang over the doorknob. They’re nearly dry, but not completely. My shoes are another matter. Since removing them with a satisfying shlurrp! and far more effort than I am used to, I’ve set them on the floor to air out a bit. They may never be dry again.
This morning when I exited the F train, people were huddled at the foot of the steps that lead from the station out to the surface. Between the time I had entered the train in Queens and exited on the Lower East Side, the skies had opened up and let loose a torrent. I decided that I would walk the five blocks to my office rather than wait out the worst of the downpour. Who knew how long that wait might be? And I was already 10 minutes late for work.
My umbrella was strong, and it withheld the rain pretty well for about half a block. Then I realized my error. It wasn’t just the water coming down, but also the water that had already fallen. Some of the curbs were banking very high, very dramatically moving rivers, as the sudden flood rushed to the nearest sewage drains. I couldn’t even leap over some of them, so my shoes were drenched in short order.
The back of my pants from the knees down were soon soaked through. My socks were like cold rags. And my umbrella was beginning to sag under the pressure of so many gallons per second.
But my hair was still cute.
I was thrilled with the suddenly cooler temperature. This cloudburst represented a major victory against my arch nemesis, the high humidity we’ve seen in recent days. Usually it reduces me to a sweaty mess because nothing evaporates on some of the worst mornings. Today I was even wetter for a different reason, but at least I wasn’t boiling over from the heat.
What choice do we pedestrians have but to get wet when it rains? Should I stop and wait under and awning? Why delay the inevitable? I’m already soaked. Should I walk faster? or run the rest of the way? If so, I’d only splash myself from underneath and probably slip in these tractionless shoes anyway. Wet as I was, it made little sense to do anything but push onward. I was laughing for much of the way, it was so ridiculous and futile.
As the intensity surged up and down at intervals, I toyed with the idea of folding up my umbrella and, Lear-like, face the tempest as a simple man against nature. Sometimes the wind would pick up and send the rain sideways. What was the point of fighting this storm? My head and some portion of my shoulders were relatively dry. But little else.
Thank god my bag stayed dry. I love my sporty WNYC tote! When I got to work, I locked my office door behind me and changed into the post-gym clothes I brought with me. I feel like a fool wearing shorts and sneakers at work, but today I’d rather be dry than appropriately dressed.
... but enough about me 