There was a time when a show like “Vicious” might have seemed daring, but today it feels quaint, comfortable, silly. And I don’t think it intends to be much more than that, and that’s OK.
Archive Page 2
The thing about the internet is everyone is an expert, and everyone has great advice, and almost all of it is mostly “helpful.” But it can be hard to know just how (or who) you have to be to succeed.
Everyone knows we’re not naturally endowed to survive. We’re not good enough on our own. Are you kidding me? We need Lifehacker and that list of 10 places we must poop before we die, and … well, you won’t believe what this rapist said to his victim, and her response was so perfect, if this 10-second video doesn’t make you cry you have no pulse.
Before the internet, we were practically painting our cave walls with our own shit.
But the only way to keep one’s head from exploding from the choices is to make a few decisions every day. Take what works and forget about the rest. (Do you see how I’m giving you advice about advice? Stop me before I hurt myself.) Continue reading ‘The internet doesn’t need to be so overwhelming’
You know people are going to jump all over the Associated Press for this news alert:
BREAKING: Dutch military plane carrying bodies from Malaysia Airlines Flight 17 crash lands in Eindhoven.
— The Associated Press (@AP) July 23, 2014
The Dutch military plane did not crash.
This is why syntax and word choice are important.
The phrase “crash landing” is redundant. “Crash” is sufficient in the event of an actual crash. The AP knows this, so their original tweet is not incorrect. It’s just easy to misunderstand. So I am glad for their clarification:
CLARIFIES: Dutch military plane carrying Malaysia Airlines bodies lands in Eindhoven.
— The Associated Press (@AP) July 23, 2014
After a depressing encounter on a Greyhound from New York to Philadelphia, I resolved to find a more reliable, less-nauseating mode of mass transit between the two cities.
On my first attempt, I found myself sharing the only seat left with an old woman who was digging to China through a large polystyrene clamshell of buffalo wings. Each of about three dozen wings was an adventure in lip-smacking, bone-snapping exuberance. Every morsel of flesh squeaked repugnantly in her mouth. I could avoid most of the sounds with my headphones, but the vile, eye-watering stench streaming from her lap was inescapable.
Then, having no napkins, she spent a good five minutes licking her hands clean. I didn’t have the nerve to see what she wiped them dry with.
I was living in Philadelphia and working in New York, and I knew that I would have to start making some smarter choices about my twice-a-week commute. I settled on Bolt Bus. Continue reading ‘Just-go stories’
One condition of getting older is the likelihood that my doctor will send me to a specialist. I guess as I slowly break down and descend into decay, my parts need more and more special attention.
Last September, I spent $50 for a visit to the otorhinolaryngologist. I like that word far better than “ears, nose and throat doctor,” or, if you’re too lazy to live, ENT. You know a word, you should use it, right?
Otorhinolaryngologist takes nearly as long to say as my appointment lasted. Continue reading ‘Not even an earful’
My elementary school’s cafeteria was a reliable source of embarrassment for me. It was the “lunch room.” I didn’t know the word “cafeteria” yet. It was also the school’s gym, which doubled its the power to humiliate. But we’ll save all of that for another time.
Lunch marked a time in the day when we kids weren’t operating with the safety lines of our parents or teachers. Freedom without experience can be terrifying. Continue reading ‘American horror story: cafeteria’
It makes me angry to see an Instagram video of an apartment fire in Manhattan with 86 likes. I know people are actually liking the photographer’s hope that no one got hurt, but that fire killed a friend of mine and left his husband in critical condition, and it’s jarring to see people “liking” that.
Bad news gets reported on social media, too, folks. Not everything needs to be “liked.” Not everything needs your mark.
There must be a better way. Why can’t we turn off the “like” function for posts we don’t actually want people to like? Can someone at Facebook and Instagram take a second look at this? Please. It’s ridiculous.