Archive Page 39

19
Jul
06

Madonna Paradox

I won’t call it hypocrisy. I’ll be generous and call it a paradox.

It almost qualifies as irony. But we English majors know better.

What I’m talking about is Madonna’s insistence that she not only monitors the TV intake of her kids (good idea in my opinion), but she also neither watches TV nor reads newspapers nor magazines herself. Ever.

She, our like great nation’s source of illumination, George W. Bush, is intentionally media deprived. She says sometimes she listens to the BBC with husband Guy. She hears about the news of the world from conversations with friends.

Madonna, the queen of mass media, star of magazine cover and MTV, chooses to disregard the news. Sure, she ignores press about herself. This is just and good and fair. Besides, how tedious, boring and infuriating, right? But she also ignores news about the world? She does TRL. She does The View. She does Good Housekeeping. She does Ladies’ friggin Home Journal. She depends on the media. She is the media.

Yet, she holds herself above the very media her career depends on.

Don’t get me wrong, I loves me some Madge. But does this seem weird to anyone else?

16
Jul
06

Q19 Crazy Lady

When I have the good fortune of making the Q19 bus in time to get to work at a decent hour, there is often a woman there who in equal parts amuses me and embarrasses me.

She always sits in a window seat reading a dog-eared bible. I won’t notice she’s there until she folds back a page of the Good Book and declares to the bus-folk around her, “Mmmmm… o-o-o-h boy!”

A few people turn to look where the noise comes from, including myself. I usually end up standing on this bus, so I can see her clearly. She just looks down at her bible and once or twice more loudly repeats an emphatic “O-o-o-o-oh mmmmmbo-eee!” and follows it by clicking her tongue just as loudly:

“Tck tck tck tck tck tck tck tck tck tck tck!”

It’s the sound an old person might make while digging in her teeth with a toothpick, rocking in a chair on the front porch.

On public transportation, such outbursts are disquieting but widely ignored to the best of our ability. If she knows she is startling half of the passengers around her, she doesn’t let on. If she has any notion that she is making the lady sitting next to her nervous, darting her widened eyes toward her, expecting perhaps a small forest creature to leap out of her chest cavity, she does not let on. She does not seem to realize that anyone has noticed anything at all, let alone that she has made any sort of loud, incongruous, inappropriate and inexplicable noise at all.

She turns another page of her bible and resumes reading silently. We all downshift from orange alert to yellow. And then a few minutes later: “Mmmmmmmm! Mmmmmbo-o-o-o-o-ay! Tck tck tck tck tck tck tck tck!”

She really puts some effort into it, distorting her voice, getting a little raspy, a little throaty. Like she’s out back picking tomatoes off the vine in the blazing sun, and she’s tugging at her collar and pulling her wide-brimmed straw hat back off her neck to mop her forehead with a worn bandana. One almost expects a “Would you just look at that! Hoo… lawd!

Is it something she’s read? Is she regarding the sins of mankind? Has she remembered that she left the coffee maker on back home? Is this what Tourette Syndrom looks like?

Then again: “Mmmmmmmmmbo-o-o-o-o-eeee! Tck tck tck tck tck tck tck!”

She never looks up from the book. She doesn’t shake her head. She doesn’t take notice of anyone or anything around her. She just continues reading her book and making loud exclamations to no one.

She looks so normal. Cute, tightly curled hair arching out in all directions. Flawless, mocha skin. Manicured but unpolished fingernails. Just enough makeup to bring out some contrast in her features. Nice, cool, conservative floral printed skirt and sleeveless sweater: you know… beige, black, salmon.

And, remember: She’s reading a Bible. Totally harmless. I’m not so sure.

15
Jul
06

New York Lesson No. 331: Thin and Gorgeous

There’s a notion in places like Minnesota and Michigan that people in New York are all thin and stylish. “They all walk everywhere, and they’re all gorgeous, and they all dress in black and look fabulous.”

This is a ridiculous myth. And thank god. Otherwise I’d stand out around here like a pimple on Madonna’s ass.

Daily I see plenty of fat people on the subway who don’t know how to dress. My roommate, an apparent slave to the rumors of the Midwest, says, “Yeah, but those are all the tourists.” I might believe that if these people weren’t on their way to and from work.

Yes, New Yorkers walk more on average than people in most cities in the country. Yes, we are not as fat as Mississippians. But the Naomi Campbells and Beyoncés among us are few and far between, at best — even in Midtown or SoHo or the Village.

I saw Sandra Bernhard in an interview going on and on about how New Yorkers have a great sense of style that no other place in the country can match, and I couldn’t help thinking: “What bullshit. Where do you hang out, lady?” And that’s it. Yeah, there is a small class of people in certain neighborhoods in Manhattan — and by “New York,” unfortunately, she of course narrowly means Manhattan — who push the edges of fashion trends. Of course, Bernhard hangs out with these people. In these places. This is the New York she knows.

The New York I know — the New York most New Yorkers know — is a New York of tank tops, Old Navy t-shirts, frayed jean cuffs, house paint-spattered work boots, dirty fingernails, monochromatic business suits with unimaginative neckties and shoes that don’t match the belt, guts hanging out of ill-fitting halter tops.

Nice shoes, though.

OK. No matter what borough they live in, New Yorkers pay far more attention to their shoes than someone in, say, Minneapolis. I’ll give you that. People in this town may have shitty jeans, but they’ll have fierce shoes.

Apart from that, this panacea of fashion is something I just don’t think exists outside of the imagination.

Anyone who tells you otherwise probably did not grow up here and desperately wants to cling to and be associated with an illogical, unattainable ideal. Indeed, most of the people who will tell you this are themselves fat and fashionless.

10
Jul
06

Robot Cats!

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Won’t scratch your couch
[Necoro.com]

I came across some information about robotic cats which led me to this commercial. I don’t know which is creepier: the robotic cat, or the lady delightedly playing with it.

At first I couldn’t fathom why someone would want one of these things. Then the following occurred to me:

  • They eat electrons, which are cheaper than cat food.
  • They do not require a stinky litter box.
  • They will not scratch the fuck out of your couch while you are out of the house.
07
Jul
06

Inferior Decorating

Three unforgiveable interior decoration decisions, in my opinion:

1.) White wall-to-wall carpet

2.) Floor to ceiling mirrors, especially an entire wall of mirrors

3.) Fake plants, especially trees

These are certainly my most hated interior design elements. They may be allowable in certain commercial contexts, but certainly not in the home. (Do you have a fleet of ottomans to cover up every red wine stain?) I think they represent the height of all that is vile and wrong about suburban notions of beauty or — worse — “nice.”

A friend once owned a condo with mirror-covered bathroom walls. Every vertical surface reflected every other vertical surface. You could watch yourself pee from all directions or get lost in infinity looking behind yourself in the mirror.

This place also had white carpet. When he redecorated, it was the first thing to go.

Years later, I found myself on a weekend trip in a house that incorporated all three elements. It was not the host’s fault, but rather his parents.

I will venture to add another:

4.) Wicker furniture

Anyony care to dispute me or add others?

06
Jul
06

Buy? A pen?

Knowing I’d want to jot down some ideas as I walked through the neighborhood to my bank today, I stopped in at Rite Aid to buy a cheap pen. I can’t remember the last time I bought a pen. Usually they’re just in a drawer or on my dresser. They just sort of accumulate, and you always have one somewhere.

Well, I was overwhelmed at Rite Aid. First, there are far too many choices! (Glad I wasn’t at Staples or Office Max.) And it’s next to impossible to buy a cheap pen — they’re all Space Age and far more complicated than the simple instrument I’m looking for. Or they come several to a pack. (Shoulda gone to Staples or Office Max.)

I grabbed one for $2.59 or something similarly stupid and ran to the check out counter.

06
Jul
06

Random Observations

Just some random observations today from the Lower East Side on my lunch break.

One.
“Yo, do me a favor,” I heard a woman say into her cell phone as I walked down the sidewalk in her general direction. She was leaning over a guard rail around a subway entrance, causing her shirt to ride up slightly, exposing a hanging gut that she probably didn’t want to expose. “Don’t nobody slap me in the face. Not my mother. Not you. Not nobody. You touch me and I will stab you in the neck.”

She was using her outdoor voice, despite having a private conversation. As I passed her and walked further away from her, her voice got fainter and fainter. I noted that, despite the threat of mortal violence, her part of the conversation took place entirely without profanity.

Two.
Waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, I noticed a small figure to my left out of the edge of my field of vision. He was an old man, and he was standing next to a garbage can, fussing with a green umbrella. He opened and closed it, running the folding mechanism up and down the shaft a couple of times, shaking it, twisting at it.

I checked the light and turned back to the old man. He was stabbing the umbrella down into the garbage can. Judging by its missing handle and broken spines, I guessed he had taken it from the garbage can originally. He had in his hand a spring, evidently taken from the shaft of the umbrella. He fingered it and wiggled it slightly and then turned and walked away down the sidewalk.

The light turned, and I crossed the street.

Three.
On the other side of the street I encountered a sidewalk sweeper. He wore a heavy-looking green Lower East Side Business Improvement District jacket #8212; better suited for November than early July — and rode on a machine that resembled a zamboni with two large wheels in front, one small wheel in back, and two rotating circular brushes meant to sweep debris under the vehicle and toward an intake fan.

The single wheel in back left a winding ribbon of motor oil wherever he went, betraying the erratic course he took swerving through and among the pedestrians. No one seemed to feel they were in any particular danger as he deftly avoided sweeping them up or knocking them over.

I was puzzled by such eforts at lunch time on a weekday. I’m no city manager, but surely there’s a better time to sweep the sidewalks, I thought. And what was he cleaning up anyway? A cigarette butt or gum wrapper here and there, leaving a larger mess behind him than what he encountered in front of him.

Maybe he just wanted to get somewhere without walking. I have a friend who, when she was 15 and had no driver’s license, rode through her home town on a riding lawnmower to buy a pack of smokes from the only place that would sell them to her. That makes sense, in its desperate, adolescent way. But this guy… where was he going?

I wonder if there really is such a thing as a random observation. The events around us are random in that they are unpredictable and outside of our control, but the very second we begin to pay attention to them, the act of observing becomes deliberate. With all the activity around us in New York City, we could be distracted in any direction at any time of the day. It’s something in us that draws an occurrence into our sphere of attention. Something led me to notice the woman on her phone, the man with the spring, and the guy on the sidewalk-sweeping machine. I wonder what about those three incidents is the common link to my attention.

05
Jul
06

Feel it on My Fingertips. Hear it on my Window Pane.

For some rainstorms, umbrellas just don’t matter.

I am shivering in my air conditioned office now, while my pants hang immodestly over my office door and my socks hang over the doorknob. They’re nearly dry, but not completely. My shoes are another matter. Since removing them with a satisfying shlurrp! and far more effort than I am used to, I’ve set them on the floor to air out a bit. They may never be dry again.

This morning when I exited the F train, people were huddled at the foot of the steps that lead from the station out to the surface. Between the time I had entered the train in Queens and exited on the Lower East Side, the skies had opened up and let loose a torrent. I decided that I would walk the five blocks to my office rather than wait out the worst of the downpour. Who knew how long that wait might be? And I was already 10 minutes late for work.

My umbrella was strong, and it withheld the rain pretty well for about half a block. Then I realized my error. It wasn’t just the water coming down, but also the water that had already fallen. Some of the curbs were banking very high, very dramatically moving rivers, as the sudden flood rushed to the nearest sewage drains. I couldn’t even leap over some of them, so my shoes were drenched in short order.

The back of my pants from the knees down were soon soaked through. My socks were like cold rags. And my umbrella was beginning to sag under the pressure of so many gallons per second.

But my hair was still cute.

I was thrilled with the suddenly cooler temperature. This cloudburst represented a major victory against my arch nemesis, the high humidity we’ve seen in recent days. Usually it reduces me to a sweaty mess because nothing evaporates on some of the worst mornings. Today I was even wetter for a different reason, but at least I wasn’t boiling over from the heat.

What choice do we pedestrians have but to get wet when it rains? Should I stop and wait under and awning? Why delay the inevitable? I’m already soaked. Should I walk faster? or run the rest of the way? If so, I’d only splash myself from underneath and probably slip in these tractionless shoes anyway. Wet as I was, it made little sense to do anything but push onward. I was laughing for much of the way, it was so ridiculous and futile.

As the intensity surged up and down at intervals, I toyed with the idea of folding up my umbrella and, Lear-like, face the tempest as a simple man against nature. Sometimes the wind would pick up and send the rain sideways. What was the point of fighting this storm? My head and some portion of my shoulders were relatively dry. But little else.

Thank god my bag stayed dry. I love my sporty WNYC tote! When I got to work, I locked my office door behind me and changed into the post-gym clothes I brought with me. I feel like a fool wearing shorts and sneakers at work, but today I’d rather be dry than appropriately dressed.

30
Jun
06

Confessions in the Nosebleed Seats

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Madonna hatches
[SAWF News]

I saw Madonna last night at Madison Square Garden, and I have spent most of the day in love with her.

I am definitely a sincere Madonna fan, but I approach much of what she does with skepticism. She’s been getting very political with recent albums, which tends to suck the fun out of it sometimes, whether I agree with her politics or not. So, thank god “Confessions” was an incredible show. As fit to match her latest fantastic-from-beginning-to-end dance album, it was uplifting and joyful compared with her recent tours. Though I loved them, I found “Drowned World” to be a bit dour and “Re-Invention” to be a bit message-heavy in comparison. There’s a “message” or a “moral” in many of the new songs, too, but she seems merely socially conscious this time rather than angry and politically arrogant.

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A closer look
[estadao.com.br]

I avoided reading about the tour over the last few months. I had learned certain things on accident, such as the disco ball entrance and some of the set list, but I wanted as much of it as possible to be a surprise. I wanted to be dazzled. And I was. (And that disco ball entrance was even better than I imagined it would be!)

Nothing about “Confessions” by itself was particularly unusual or groundbreaking or revolutionary. The lights were gorgeous and brilliant, especially the rainbow lights along the edge of the stage during the finale and the video screen dancefloor at the end of the catwalk. Yet, honestly, they were just lights. But they were lights at a Madonna show, so they were awesome. With the exception of some parkour and some fancy, death-defying rollerskating, the dancing looked almost ordinary to me. But it was flawless. And it was at a Madonna show — so it was awesome.

She even does a balloon drop at the end of the show. The last two tours used confetti. How mundane, right? Not so. With these shiny mylar balloons, she transforms the interior of Madison Square Garden into a disco ball turned inside-out. And with the air conditioning turned off, we are all sweating and shouting and moving together in the biggest dance club in New York.

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Madonna: a raven-like vixen
[hollywoodtuna.com]

I cannot equivocate about her voice, however. She sounded amazing. Thank god for Evita and the requisite voice coaching that changed everything.

Thank god, also, that there were no kilts this tour. Or bagpipes. She’s been working that too much lately. The Erotica-style riding crop came back, but thanks to her late obsession with horses, it’s actually in the context of riding. I’m also glad that she didn’t do “Holiday” as the final number. In fact, contrary to some early-reported set lists I saw, it didn’t appear in the show at all. It’s a crowd pleaser, but she can fly just fine without that magic feather.

A lot of old-school disco found its way in, which I found clever and fun. Madonna loves to pay hommage to the divas who came before. Her own repertoire is getting larger all the time. And her themes, both visual and lyrical, are repeating more frequently. “Deeper and Deeper” harkened back to “Vogue.” “Hung Up” recalls “Love Song.” It shows ultimately a consistency through her career and makes possible some clever combinations. During a mash-up of “Music” and “Disco Inferno,” I heard some roboticized lyrics from “Where’s the Party.” I love to hear those oldies coming back into play.

She is still a bit wooden when she plays guitar and sings at the same time. As with everything, she is so careful, so precise. Trying so hard to get it right. And she does get it right. But only when she breaks away from that microphone, do we see the diva within. When she struts across the stage and starts to jam a little bit, it looks like she’s actually having some fun. And when she’s having fun, we all have more fun.

It’s no great playing, either. Simple stuff — as if I know anything about guitar. But it sure sounds good. Some people say she should be embarrassed for being a guitar-playing poser, but rather, I think it just shows what little actual talent goes into being a rock star. (Rock star, not musician.) It’s all attitude. Madonna does not have that attitude on the guitar, but she more than makes up for it with the attitude in her look and her moves and the choices she makes for the rest of her show — and in the fact that she’s lasted so bloody long. I’d say she’s maybe … 90% rock star. But she’s definitely 100% superstar.

A friend recently complained that there is no room for spontaneity in her shows. They are too choreographed and structured and mechanical. And they are. But Madonna has never claimed to be a musician. She is a performer. An artist. To this day, she calls herself a dancer. She puts on a concert like it’s a theatrical production. Everything is planned; everything is just so. And how is this a bad thing? Her art is in her precision and her calculation. It’s a dancer’s art. It’s a story. She’s saying something specific. And it’s a brilliant performance.

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S&M merry-go-round
[hollywoodtuna.com]

The set was spare and minimalist, if anything. The show relies very heavily instead on elaborate video productions. I want to know who puts these things together. Ordinarily they would be the backdrop to the live performance, but instead they are integral to the experience. In one part of the show, Madonna rides up and down on a cross between a mechanical bull and a runaway carousel horse, singing “Like a Virgin.” At the same time, the video screens show scenes of horses throwing their riders, falling, injuring themselves. It’s a weird set of contrasts. Forget the trashy wedding dress and the Boy Toy belt of the ’80s. She’s moved on, and so have we. The song survives with other things to say.

The images tell one story while the live performance tells another. This happened throughout the show. She’s obviously taking more seriously her role as a social commentator. She takes on industrial waste during “Sorry,” and a bit later during the “Sorry” costume-change remix, there is a weird, clearly purposeful, contrast between images of her in a satin leotard and tights (and Gaultier corset!) and her feather-back hair and eye shadow, vamping “don’t speak” and “don’t talk” and “I’ve heard it all before,” and the images of world leaders (both obvious villains and merely morally questionable politicians), war and world strife.

She seems to admit to being an image, an icon, a one-dimensional pop star. There is depth to her, but leave the depth to her friends and family. All we need is the surface. But, she says, while we’re all at this party, take a look at what’s going on outside. Look at what you’re going home to. It’s like: Some strange shit is going down out there. Shake it off for a night, and let’s dance!

There are the tried-and-true religious references, too. I don’t think she uses religious imagery in an inflammatory way. These symbols represent ideas that people have been willing to kill each other over throughout history. They are widely powerful and suggestive and potent. So much is tied up in two perpendicular lines, two crossed equalateral triangles, a crescent and a star. I take some comfort in seeing them used to tell a story or express a more harmonious point of view rather than as weapons at odds with each other.

During the “uproar” over her performing a song on a giant mirrorball cross — Anglicans around the world have condemned her, apparently — I yawned. Who cares? She’s been working that crucifix since the beginning. She’s singing “Live to Tell,” and the context is the worldwide fight against AIDS. I don’t know what impact this concert will have on that fight. (Will she make substantial donations with her enormous proceeds?) But I think it’s a sensible and legitimate artistic expression to compare that ongoing human suffering to the legendary suffering of Jesus on the cross. Whatever statement Madonna is making, it is not literal. This is surely not the enactment of some kind of a messianic complex.

Religion should never be off-limits in art, whether it’s high art or pop music. Art has been used through the ages to glorify religion. But somehow, raising thoughtful questions, drawing meaningful connections and pointing out legitimate paradoxes is evil? Hardly. It merely places the divine in the context of human existence. If we can’t do that, we have no hope of understanding our own religion, let alone anyone else’s.

And I think there’s a real link to the Christian conceits of suffering and redemption in this case. How much suffering in the world — at the hands of this mindless disease and at the feet of powerful but inactive politicians and businesspeople — does it take before those who suffer can see some redemption or easement?

Despite her somewhat silly crown of thorns, Madonna clearly is not suffering. She is only reminding us of a story of great suffering, the Crucifixion. Her crucifix is composed rather glamorously of countless little mirrors, reflecting outward in all directiong, showing us ourselves. What are we doing to answer the call of these victims? How are we suffering?

In the end, it’s all sort of ridiculous. A crown of thorns. A lampooned crucifixion. Madonna, in all her yogafied dance-a-thon glory, with arms out, wrists slumped — but fantastic hair. She is willing to act out these roles and to assume that undignified position, almost like a clown. Of course it’s ridiculous; not only the act, but the fact that she is doing it. And I think she knows it. It’s an old joke. She’s almost making fun of herself. In 1983, Madonna wore the crucifix. In 2006, the crucifix is wearing her.

Slightly newer is the stir she caused with the “Isaac” track on her album, and in this concert. At best, it’s an entry to educate her fans about the Kabbalah. it introduces themes of the study into her work, gives them some depth, and probably does a great deal to spread some peaceful thoughts around the world.

However, it is apparently a no-no to make money off the name of one of the founders of Kabbalah. I can understand that. Madonna has never really compromised her work for any person or any religion, has she? She has absorbed what she will from Catholicism. She has taken what she will from people and continues to take what she will from people beneficial to her progress. She is absorbing what she needs at this point in her life from Kabbalah. She takes what she needs and she moves on. It’s not even intentional or planned. It’s just in service of her vision or her ambition or her self discovery or her life’s journey. It’s all really the same thing. I find this uncompromising parasitic nature at once totally horrifying and utterly respectable. Truly, it’s necessary if she is going to do the work she wants to do.

I won’t say she exploits religions or modes of thought or social movements. I won’t say she uses people. What I will say is that she absorbs and learns and evolves — relentlessly. She takes, she gives, and she moves. And she leaves something beautiful behind. That is all. If she is guilty of anything it is a fascination with the world around her and a desire to be a part of it and to understand it. She has the confidence to take the world that was given to her at birth — the same world we are all given — and fill out her life. Can we all claim to do the same?

She may not be a great artist, but she is fearless in creating her art. Her canvas is herself. It’s a work in progress. The same is true for you and for me. In her case, though, through the forces of capitalism and free markets and pop culture, she is taking us on her journey with her, and we are buying it, literally.

10
Jun
06

A Prairie Homesick Companion

We saw A Prairie Home Companion yesterday. I loved it, but found it truly odd, rather like the radio show on which it is based. The movie seemed to be about nothing. It followed no particular path or plan. This is the mark of an Altman film, of course, but also shows a heavy influence of Garrison Keillor. It was like a two-hour “News from Lake Wobegon” monologue set to a screenplay: an aloof, meandering, and largely ad-libbed story told in Keillor’s grave, butterscotch voice. Just a slice of life. Nothing important. Nothing more to see here, folks. Move along now.

And that is precisely is why it was so good.

It was also an intensely personal experience for me — to the point of distraction. It made me strongly nostalgic for my adopted home. My North Star. My Minnesota.

I lived in Minneapolis for six years and worked at Minnesota Public Radio in downtown St. Paul, where the film was shot. (Keillor’s folks would want me to take great pains, I am sure, to make clear that Prairie Home Productions is a separate company from MPR, and that A Prairie Home Companion is distributed by American Public Media, also a separate company. Though they are all like in-laws at a family reunion potluck wondering whose ambrosia salad will go home untouched.)

Half the fun was seeing people and places I once saw daily. I knew that the movie would be like a photo album for me, but I did not want to be the annoying guy up front pointing out the bottles of Grain Belt Premium beer stacked up at the Fitzgerald Theater concession cubby (Who but a Minnesotan knows what this stuff is?) and that the interior of the Fitzgerald had been repainted for the movie and that the room with the box seats where Tommy Lee Jones sits is actually a production booth in real life.

The film takes place at the Fitzgerald, where the real show happens every week for most of the year. We used to have all-staff meetings and our holiday cabaret party there. In one of the final scenes, some of the men working backstage are theater staff in real life. I never knew their names, but I recognize them!

I annoyed Jeff right away by squealing quietly when the camera panned to Mickey’s Diner in the opening scene. Mickey’s looks like an old, stationary railroad dining car at W. 7th Street and St. Peter. A historic St. Paul landmark. Essentially a burger joint. But you don’t go there for the food. You go there because it’s Mickey’s.

A ridiculous movie called Jingle All the Way used exterior shots of the diner, but the interior, where Gov. Schwarzenegger and Sinbad get into a fist fight over a toy robot, is a lamentable fake. Keillor’s movie, however, authentic down to the Grain Belt, is the real chrome-plated deal.

“You’re not going to do that all through the whole movie, are you?” he said.

And truly, I wasn’t going to.

The radio show in real life is actually better than the radio show in the movie. The musical feel is the same, but there’s more humor and a number of radio sketches and fake commercials and such.

My connection to Garrison Keillor is minor at best. I met him when I worked on the A Prairie Home Companion Web site for a year at MPR. My first meeting with him was in his cluttered office. He was barefoot. I had just been given responsibility for the Web site representing his show. He wanted us to completely redesign the site, which was the largest, most visited, most visible and most beloved of all the sites that MPR produced.

No pressure.

Oh, and have it done in three weeks in time for the launch of the new season.

And we did. The home page, and the major architecture, anyway. The rest of it came in phases throughout the next year.

I met with him again to show him design sketches from our truly marvelous Web designer Ben. (I mean it. This guy is good.) It was at his house in a fashionable St. Paul neighborhood. We sat at his dining room table. I fell in love with his kitchen. And I couldn’t help but think, “I’m discussing Web site navigation with a genius.” But he’s so… normal and homey. So… Minnesotan.

As we were leaving, he gave me and the designer copies of his latest book at the time and a new CD compilation of Lake Wobegon stories. I didn’t dare ask for an autograph. It felt petty and ungrateful at the time. Unprofessional. And I didn’t want to seem impressed. I was a colleague first, a fan second.

I can remember back when he was working on a nebulous “screenplay.” Who knew what it was about? Didn’t matter. The man was always writing something. He is so busy and so prolific. I respect him immensely. A weekly radio show, a book or two, a screenplay, an op-ed, an essay, plus whatever we could squeeze out of him for the Web site. Sure, he has time for it all! I remember a blog I had set up for him, to use as a travel log while the show made stops around the country one summer, in which he noted a visit from Robert Altman, who attended the L.A. show. Hmm… Interesting… That Keillor sure gets around, don’t he?

And here we are with a full-blown movie.

Oh my god! Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin are sitting in the seat at Mickey’s where I always sat! I had chili fries Right There!

(P.S. It’s also the same booth where Jeff spilled a whole Coke on his lap. Maybe that’s why he shushed me.)




the untallied hours